Ever-decreasing circles

Let's get down to it...spending some money and eatin' - lots o'chips please!

To officially celebrate Adam's arrival, Gem's final day at work and the start of two weeks of non-stop eating (after evening #1 Adam's chip portion count is already at 2) we headed out to Coogee on Thursday evening to consume some beverages. With the competition rife to take more photos than kitsbigtrip and dumbanddumbersbigtrip combined and the discovery of a great new camera mode (illustration) the camera was out in force alongside many bottles of wine! There was some dancing...there was Luis (Brazil)...there was a nice gentleman who was eager to know if I was alright? To which I obviously replied yessss very enthusiastically only to be told by Amy that he was actually asking if he looked like a poof?! Oops - lines of communication are down...repeat down!

Since it had been all of four hours since we last ate we headed to the pizza shop and managed to scrape enough cents together to upgrade to a medium sized pizza, a good enough size for three not particularly hungry people we thought...then Amy rocks up with her first portion of chips of the day and the plan goes out the window! We had to store two slices of pizza in the fridge for a later drunken date...

We have been lucky enough to receive a television of late...just in time for our departure from the mad house! So in the quiet (Adam-napping) times we can be entertained by great programs such as Shopping For Love and the tennis!

26th January - every Australian's favourite day when they are out in force ranting about how Grrreeeeeeat Frosties, oops I mean Australia is. It was a little too much for us whingeing pommes!! We managed about two hours without food and then had to partake in some pie and chips action which they tried to charge us $104 for?!?!...thank the Lord for the maths degree :) So Darling Harbour is where it is at on this Great Day - the foutains are full of soggy children trying to get innocent passers-by wet, the pavements are full of wet innocent passers-by wanting to drown all the soggy children. TO THE PARK - where the children haven't yet managed to invade in full force - after Adam has had his required 20 minutes in the shade to "adjust" to this unexpected heat mind you. You see, so far Adam's holiday has consisted of nearly being mugged in Melbourne, sharing a bag of chips with a drunk Aborigini in Melbourne, rain in Melbourne, rain in Sydney...so the sun was a bit of a surprise to be honest.

Alison joined us and the music and munching began in vain - a guy from a band who were famous once and a DJ on at 7 in the evening playing to a subdued family crowd in broad daylight when I imagine he is used to playing to packed, pill-popping venues in the early hours of the morning?! The four of us, that's right, just the four of us went to a bar and luckily the fashion police on the door deigned us acceptable to enter after much scrutinising. Once inside you realsied their presence was none much needed since it appeared they had already invited in every waif and stray wandering by.

Once we tired of the ''Australia is Great" promotion by the DJ (and who can argue with him with such hits as Tie Me Kangaroo Down?!) we started the usual wandering round the City part of the evenign looking for an open, welcoming bar...This part of my life is called wandering....in the absence of any of the above we went to a German bar which was housing our incredibly drunk, incredibly short housemate Dario G and the world's most depressed looking hen night. We went to another bar on the Harbour then found a exceptionally rude taxi driver to take us to the Shelbourne. He almost kicked us out of the taxi for not knowing exactly what street we wanted to be on - another example of how Australia is Great!

We headed home after a bit of a boogie only to discover that one of our pikey housemates had eaten our leftover pizza...losers!

Bad Boi Bad Boi...

Watcha gonna do?
Watcha gonna do when he comes for you?

A to the Dam has arrived and once again it takes less than a few hours for us all to realise that actually nothing has changed and have we really been apart for 10 months?!

Unfortunately Gemizzle had to frequent her place of work a little to regularly in the first few days of Bad Boi's stay but I am pleased to announce that tour guide/nasty girl Amyizzle stepped up and showed Bad Boi the sights and sounds of the city - in between his six and a half hourly naps of course :) As far as I am aware...and they have the photos to prove it - they managed to sightsee despite the overcastness and rain.

Having had withdrawal symptoms from the bitterly cold and windy British winter (Dads and men alike - we hope all your fences are still standing!) we visited the bar made of ice in Sydney called Minus 5...you spend 30 minutes exploring this bar made completely of ice...even the glasses you drink from are!! On the other hand you may spend the entire 30 minutes watching your pager and hoping it is going to off sooner rather than later indicating you may leave the room - what can I say, sometimes Bad Boi's are a little sensitive to the cold I guess :) Where's your hat again Adam!?

We ate some pizza, Gemizzle had a Marco Polo, Amyizzle had a Papa Grande and Bad Boi had a Aloe Haa (an Aloha in non-bad boi speak). As ever the Australian folk never fail to amuse with what seemed like a massage class going on in the middle of the bar and the the waitress actually believing we had ordered a fourth pizza. This was in fact for Alison who was at the time on her way from the SLip Inn to the SHip Inn to meet us - a little bit of confusion in the midst of all the chaos.

Oh, by the way City Road folk - Adam has some interesting photos from Bangkok...the slideshow this time around will be a fun one :)

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1....Happy New Year

As of tomorrow Bad Boi is officially on Australian turf and mine and Amy's lives will once again be complete...as only a Bad Boi can :)

For New Year we had Alison's sister Jenny visiting from London and Jamie and his cousin visiting from Melbourne...we headed down to Sydney Harbour to check out the much talked about fireworks - they cut off pedestrian access to the Harbour at about 6pm so you are forced to get down there six hours early to ponder life. They have fireworks for the families at 9pm which breaks the monotany of sitting on a concrete floor a little bit (obviously some people were organised and brought picnic food, seats, cushions, games etc etc. we on the other hand brought doritos and dip). And what we thought was a good position - between the Botanic Gardens and the shops lining the harbour, turned out to be not so good since the 9pm fireworks went off the other side of the Botanic gardens and the other side of the Harbour as opposed to on the bridge and the Opera House which we could see!

Attempt number two - and since all the families left and we managed to score a place in the Opera House forecourt which was ace and we were on the steps to the Opera House when they went off - brilliant! The usual anti-climax was blown out the water by the $14m they set off in smoke!

You were not supposed to take any glass or alcohol into the enclosure with you but us being A PROFESSIONAL STEALTH INVESTIGATION UNIT - we managed to sneak in a bottle of sprite (vodka) mixed by moi and I don't think anyone will be giving me that task again! How old are we again?! Security was on the lapse side! A good night was had by all and in the end it as fairly civilised since the night before we stayed out till 5am in King's Cross dancing and eating Macd's....who at 5am only had big macs and quaterpounders with cheese left, what happened to all the McChicken McNuggets huh?!...Mark, Jamie's cousin managed to stay even later than us and arrived at Macd's in time for the breakfast shift! Then he got a taxi to Botany Road (we live on Botany Street!!) and ended up on the other side of the city!! Genius :)

Since new year we have visited the moonlight theatre to see Clerks II, the Rand(y)wick Ritz to see The Pursuit of Happyness and The Holiday (all thoroughly recommended) and are now spoilt for choice of activities since the Sydney Festival has begun - we went to a Brazilian Jazz concert in the park and managed to pick up some tickets to go to the Sydney Opera House to see a show called Kiss of Life by a British guy called Chris Goode...also very good :) We will be frequenting the free outdoor cinema at the Olympic Park and some firework display which you are reccommended not to go to if you have difficulty breathing, we will let you know about that one!

Oh, and did we tell you, our lounge now has two armchairs and the most recent addition...three televisions - WOOHOO! Ooops - what I meant to say was three broken televisions :) A big thank you shout out to the City Road boys who when we left gave us some money for each of the countries we were visiting, anywho we remembered this the other day and pretty much ran to the supermarket to buy alcohol....JUST KIDDING!!....we bought lots of yummy food :)

And as for emplyment - I now work on the corporate reception or Client and Dining Services (as they like to call it) for JP Morgan with a lady called Jennie who is pretty entertaining. My day consists of confirming meetings, meeting and greeting people, speaking to the waiters, playing solitaire and freecell, taking people to meeting rooms, when Jennie goes to lunch I play internet jigsaws (www.jigzone.com if there's any other puzzle geeks out there) then Jennie comes back and I go to lunch, in the afternoon Jennie goes home and I play games for another hour and a half - throw the newspapers out, turn the lights off and leave! Saving the world one jigsaw at a time :) Did you hear on the news about the guy called Rex who has just climbed the seven highest mountains in the world and he is only 23? Well, he was in our office the other day and the Attorney General came in for a meeting and I spoke to Shayne Warnes manager on the phone....!

Amy on the other hand now works for a stockbrokers and from what I can gather shouts at the six people who work there...watches music videos...wanders the streets of Sydney for however long she can get away with each day...and writes visual basic code (and she calls me a geek!!)

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas...

So we continued with the doing nothing for several weeks in order to put some money aside...our favourite activity being watching the roof leak when it rained...luckily there was plenty of rain to keep us entertained! We also, in order to make our room a little more homely we replaced the 1000watt lightbulb they placed in our room making me and Amy look like blotchy ghosts - we downgraded to a 60watt in the hope of looking more attractive! We had momentary escapes like when Mac and Cheese (Sam) came to Sydney for a few days from Melbourne and we met up with them and went to Manly beach for the day...and the few occasions when being in the house is just too much so going out for some beverages is the only option...I think between me, Amy and Alison we have managed to terrorise at least half the population of the Coogee Bay Hotel...sorry folks :) I have also become a puzzle geek - or maybe the puzzle geek in me has finally been let loose (Crazy for you :)

Rand(y)wick is the sort of town you imagine that nothing happens in...but rumour has it that someone got shot in the butt-ock (Forest Gump stylee) a few months ago and we saw a car on fire and we were victims of a drive by water pistol incident as well one night.

Aside from the feeling a little low on Christmas day in the absence of family and friends and pots and pans, it all turned out ok :) And after all is said and done Christmas fades pretty quickly once it's over and the prospect of new year in Sydney was a little bit exciting to say the least. Anyways, it was great to speak to everyone we managed to talk to :) And once again apologies to Johnboy for NOT phoning you - we are officially useless and will remain so until we redeem ourselves further!

So after our very successful fry-up and present opening session (Amy and I spent $10 AKA 4 pounds on each other in the tat shop before Christmas so we would have some stuff to open, the highlights being the bunny outfit, tyre launchers and the funnel kit! - none of which paled in comparison to Alisons gifts - the girl with the five pairs of earrings! :) we headed to Coogee beach for a sunbathing session - this was a bit hit and miss since we (and all the weather folk out there) had been expecting rain on Christmas day - luckily for us because plan B had yet to be formulated. we made it to the beach along with hundreds of other backpackers of all shapes and sizes in all states of dress up and dress down! One group even brought a Christmas tree with them.

In the evening we were lucky enough to be invited round Alison's friend Chris's for a proper turkey dinner, we donned our Sunday best jeans and away we went to Manly. We watched the sunset over the City and had an absolute feast! Having thoroughly tested the noodle diet for the previous couple of weeks...I had two platefuls, Amy had one and a half then I ate her leftover half! So much for having shrunk the stomach :) Obviously in not-so-well-known company who are not aware of our current noodle-loving situation I just looked like a bit of a pig!! Which translated into me getting the largest portion of dessert...this is the point when my plan backfired because the dessert consisted of plum pudding, cream and mango.

Enter fussy Gem!

In theory I can manage the mango without too much effort...and if I eat around all the raisins in the cake then maybe I can hide the leftover raisins under the cream...it's quite plausible/inoffensive to not like cream right?! The first problem I discovered was that the cake although on appearance looked not very raisin-y was in fact full of them! The second problem I encountered was that not only did it look like I had mutilated the cake but it was never all going to fit underneath the spoonful of cream...D'oh! The dude caught on to my plight and I thought honesty is definitely the best policy (especially after a couple of glasses of wine!).

Having spent the night in Manly we were in prime position to watch the Boxing day Sydney to Hobart Boat Race leave from Sydney Harbour the next morning. And that was our Christmas :)

Hope you all had a good one people...! Take care....Amyizzle and Gemizzle in da hoouse

The depression...

Welcome to the low point of the year...having arrived back in Sydney where the skies are never blue and it rains an awful lot for the season of spring (that's right folks summer doesn't officially start till 21st December...if you don't believe me look it up on the BBC!)...Amy and I descended into a sorry state of affairs, with in effect no money (None is an exaggeration to make the story more poignant) no home and no jobs.

The hunt for either didnt start off too well so we got progressively more disheartened as the week went on. We managed to meet the most anally retentive man in the world when we went to view the rooms in his house, he pulled out a five page rule book we would have had to of abided by...

1) put newspaper on the floor if you fry anything
2) clean the kitchen/toilet/bathroom after you use it
3) wear the allocated flip flops into the bathroom whenever you use it
4) no shoes in the house
5) no noise after 9pm
6) no drunkeness

Number 7) was probably do not leave the sponge in the sink after washing up and number 8) I think was do not click the battery cover on the remote control open and closed incessantly!

The list went on and on and we sat there trying not to laugh like school children. Oh, and if you were caught breaking any of the rules you had to put $5 in a pot which then went to a house dinner and movie night at the end of the month?! After a quick huddle we decided that we would probably be better off just paying for the entire flat to go out at the end of each month rather than partaking in the fine system, which at the end of the day would defeat the object of trying to save money!

Anyway things started looking up, we found a house that Amy, Alison and I could all live together in. It is in Rand(y)wick between the beach and the city, it houses 10 people legally and as many stowaways as you like. In truth they are still renovating it around our ears but...it has a roof (slightly leaky), one armchair (for the 10 of us), one grill and two hobs (again for 10 people), one small saucepan - half a handle, one small saucepan - no handle, one GIANT saucepan - two handles, two frying pans, one kettle (broken then fixed), one toaster, four forks, 300 knives...it has been likened to the mental ward of a hospital by the folks that have had the pleasure of visiting us there! We have a bed to sleep on which is the main thing and we are all together which helps keep us sane in the madhouse.

If you ever want to know what it might be like to live in the Big Brother house then try living at 1 Botany Street, Rand(y)wick. You move in with a bunch of randoms, you have little money so going out isn't an option (because that inevitably ends in money expenditure), you have no tele to distract you from the boredom and you are rationing your food in an attempt to save money...and the food that you do have, the other housemates lay claim to when you are not looking. For instance, Amy bought some milk one evening, got up the next day and went to work and came home - looking forward to a nice cup o' tea and guess what...3/4 of her milk had just vanished?!

The Housemates - firstly there are the kind of housemates that never really make too much of an impression, like Martin and Erika (these are the sorts of folk who just hide out in their rooms and never interact with people no matter how much you try), then there are the kind that keep themselves to themselves but you definitely notice they are there...like the two slovakian boys who take pleasure in wandering around in small tight pants or towels, we like to think of ourselves as the control of the experiment - the norm (but I'm sure so does everyone else), then there is Tom who is plain and simply a lovely guy but then there's those characters that like to make themselves known in every possible way, Laura and Chantelle and the Italian pervert for instance. Then you have to take into account Marian and the Fruitarian, our in-house DIY/Landlord/Handymen/mechanic/procrastinator extraordinaires traipsing through every day and night.

Chantelle is housemate number 11, thrown in at the last minute to do nothing but stir up trouble...so the dynamics of the house go something like this: you have the Italian pervert offering to get in the shower with every/any girl that is in it, the normal crowd will be sat around the dining room table under the calming and flattering effects of the strip lights, trying not to let the repetitive radio playlist drive us insane, deciding that it is better that everyone gets a chair as opposed to all bar one having to sit on the floor of the lounge, then Martin or Erika (Amy says "who's Erika?") may appear for a two second insightful conversation while he/she makes a sandwich, the Slovakian guys seem to take their fifth shower of the evening and once again strut through the dining room in full view of everyone, Marian will manage to turn the oh-so-normal (enjoyable) day-to-day conversation into a psychological debate and fruitarian man will probably scoff a large pizza or ten sausage sandwiches whilst sitting in his pants then he will attempt some DIY that you can bet your life savings will have fallen off/broken within 24 hours...then just about the time that everyone has trotted off to bed and is on the verge of falling asleep, Chantelle and Laura arrive home trolleyed being as loud as you like, slamming doors and trying to steal people's chocolate ice cream.

Our kitchen is like the Bermuda Triangle...EVERYTIME someone goes into it you inevitably hear them say "where have all the .... gone?" - plates, forks, bowls...my favourite story being one particular sunny Christmas morning when Amy, Alison, Alison's sister Jenny and myself woke up looking forward to our cooked brunch only to go into the kitchen and exclaim "where have all the pots, pans, plates, forks, baking trays gone?", turns out our number one (for eviction only) lodger had "borrowed" all of our utensils to go to someone else's house to cook Christmas dinner for some other people...thanks for that - Merry Christmas to you too! Luckiy there was one saucepan left and we had plans to eat dinner elsewhere otherwise we may have been a little stuck! The tale doesn't end there either because we had to spend another two days after Christmas before said pots and pans and forks were returned!

Can you guess who was the first to be evicted/leave from the asylum....that's right - the Italian pervert followed by Laura and Chantelle (which unfortunately meant the unfortunately soon departure of Tom also)...we can't really say anything though because me and Ayms are next on the list!

Work was scarce for the month of December, mostly because the world and his wife decided to arrive in Sydney a lot earlier than we did and take all the jobs and good flats! T'is our own fault really but like the wise old Miss Amyizzle says...it's all good life experience!