An Ode to Nicky Jones

English, Irish, Scottish, Wellish
Man, three day hangovers are hellish
That's what you get after a ten week binge
Oh, and a stalker with a (conveniently rhyming) surname like Singh


It all started in a place called ARTA
Where thert motto goes 'drink now, corro after'
Its common knowledge you work better under the influence
So a quick nap at your desk shouldn't really affect your conscience


It really all started with one glass of wine
Some bubbles then a vodka diet coke and squeeze of lime
That was the night Chief One Bottle was born
Err, I think that Carni over there has got the horn


Staying upright isn't so easy we found
Mud or tiles - we somehow manage to lay down on the proper cold ground
Now your stealing lines from that song by Damien Rice
Ahoy hoy, go stick your head in a bucket of eggy ice


Do you like Piha Coladas and Tuesday group?
Or getting caught in the rain and gloworm poop?
Let's not talk about the Auckland weather
But feel free to stand under my umbrella ella ella (sweet as bro eh eh eh)


It's so cold in the Globe it's so cold it's so cold
I need some warmth, anyone seen that nineteen year old?
Failing that we'll go to the bar of D
Do you know there's an icebox where my heart used to be?


Twenty-nine drinks and a Subway later
I'll inhale some nuggets as well thanks waiter
"Here's fifty cents for the extra sauce Miss Jones"
"You don't get things for free round here you know"


Everyone in - spirit fingers, hairy legs and Michael Jackson's nose
Taxi! Please drive us round in circo's to get us to the casino
Ding ding, bring it on black twenty eight
"Seriously - you're not allowed to take photos in here mate"


"I'm talking with the man in the mirror" "Who?"
You're actually talking to the lady in the coat of blue
"I'm asking him to change his ways" "What?"
We are intoxicated by the door "Get out you lot"


We've had the time of our lives and that's all there is to tell
Nicky - please enjoy your blockbuster one night rental
Make sure you tell him that Justice is com-ing
And we will continue this rhyme at our next gather-ing :)